The Ghost
Has seen everything since March. Replied to none of it. Will rise from the dead for the trip photos.
Upload the export. The roast reads every message — the dry replies, the left-on-reads, the 2am essays — and writes the report your group deserves.
WhatsApp & iMessage · first roast free · chat deleted after
the gc 🧃
maya, josh, sam +3
maya
guys. the trip spreadsheet has been in this chat for three weeks
11:42
josh
lol
11:44
a “lol” with the warmth of a parking ticket
sam
🎙 voice note · 6:12
11:58
six minutes. it was a yes/no question
and yet — silence
✓✓ Read by 5
Act I
WhatsApp or iMessage, straight from the conversation settings. Group chats, situationships, family threads — all fair game.
30 seconds
Act II
Every dry reply, every left-on-read, every 2am essay nobody acknowledged. It reads between the lines and takes notes.
about a minute
Act III
You get a report built to be screenshotted. Send it back to the chat and watch everyone find out who they really are.
instant chaos
Every chat has them. The roast names names, with receipts — these are the archetypes it finds most nights.
Has seen everything since March. Replied to none of it. Will rise from the dead for the trip photos.
Any topic becomes their topic within four messages. Genuinely impressive. Genuinely exhausting.
Carries the emotional weight of seven adults and receives a single thumbs-up in return.
Silent for weeks, then produces a screenshot from 2021 at the exact moment it destroys someone.
Answers a two-word question with a six-minute audio essay, recorded on a windy street.
Has proposed eleven dates for dinner. The group has agreed on zero. Still believes.
yes, one of these is you. the roast will tell you which.
A roast isn't finished until it lands in the group. This is what comes back.
You're trusting us with a conversation. That part is not a joke.
Your export is processed, the report is written, the messages are gone. We keep the jokes, not the chat.
No one in the conversation knows a roast happened. What you do with the report is entirely your call.
Upload, read, share. You only need an account to keep your roasts.
A WhatsApp chat export (.txt or .zip) or an iMessage conversation. Group chats work best — more people, more material — but a two-person thread roasts just fine.
It roasts like a best man, not like an anonymous comment section: sharp about behavior, never cruel about people. The goal is the group crying laughing, not someone actually crying.
Yes — the roast reads the chat in the language you write it in, slang, typos, and cursed abbreviations included.
About a minute for a normal chat. If your group has forty thousand messages about nothing, give it two — it has a lot to process, and honestly, so do you.
One upload, one minute, one report the group will never let go of.
Roast my chatFirst roast free.